. . .
Too many problems recently.
Could hardly breathe.
I couldn't hold my tears when i was praying just now.
I need Jesus so much in my life.I'm tired of struggling alone.
He's there,but...I nearly forgot about Him.
My eyes aren't meant for tears.I wish that i could hold it,but...I've reached my limits.
I'm sorry for everything.
I didn't mean to hurt others with my words...
But,i've cared others too much that i totally forgot myself. I didn't dare to scream out loud that I'M NOT HAPPY!
I know i'll pull through it.
Tell me that it has come to an end.
I'm going to start my engine.Won't let myself to fall through.
I'm not a superman,but no matter what,i'll give my very best.
To my buddy:trust me.I'm ok.I'm fine.You'll still see my smile.Thanks for your golden advice.I'll bear it in mind.
This super jcy is back!
Played mini-soccer at school today.It was very tiring,yet fun.I managed to goal in a ball.*hore hore hore!
A math quiz just now,and i made mistake on the last question.*sigh!
The class's quite fun today,except for a little bad news from Jane,her grandma passed away _:'(
Some problems struck me recently.
Pray that this'll soon be over.
So,my friends and i had a little talk about our future.
I was wondering whether my mum can afford to send me to SG.
I want to take Math in NTU or NUS,perhaps!*'_'*
but,for the worst possibility,uhm...Will i just stay in BATAM and taking other faculty instead?*Hell NO!*
miracle does happen,right?:)
7 more days to my cousin's 1-month anniv.
hence,what seems to be happening these days:
"today:i love you so much my dear!"
"tomorrow:i'm sorry.We're not meant for each other.Let's break,bye!"
Loves these days are too fragile to be called as a love.Forever has lost its value.*sigh.if you ask me when am i going to get myself a boyfriend,then i'll say:"when i have found myself a husband."
I ain't going to waste times on a relationship that brings nothing.Just killing times?Just to look for a temporary companion?That's absolutely absurd for me.
They hold hands.They kissed.They hugged.in the end,they break.Girls will always stand to lose.
it's holy.take good care of it.
Sing a song!
Oops.I didn't blog yesterday,i was too tired to blog.
Well.Something cropped up in the church.A friend of mine was facing a family problem and she shared it with me.So,i tried my best to help,of course.Her brother was a bit addicted to pornography,whoaa...That's quite bad!Huh.
Went to Sin Ma for dinner.
Went to BCS and bought a glass of blueberry bubble tea.Slurrp...And packed a burger to bring back home for my brother.Hahas.
It was about 9pm,bathed and slept.
It's Monday !
Ceremony in the bright morning.
Goodness sake.That teacher was making a long preach.A bunch of nonsense before getting to the point.
He even mentioned Thomas Alfa Edison!Holy sake!
Many students were called up to the stage and asked to sing in front of us.That's their punishment for not speaking English.Funny,huh?Hanung was called out from my class.Haha.He and Stefanie sang a short part of a song.*didn't know what song is that.Anyway,it's an english song.Some sang 'Happy Birthday','Twinkle-twinkle,etc.Hahas.
Anyway,I'm very happy today.Our hardwork pays off! I enjoy to study with Bu.Ana and Ms.Lina.*awesome!
I understood every single words they said.Hahas.
Happy-ing!A bright future!
No test or homework today!
The same applies for tomorrow.
Now,i'm sitting alone in my sweet room,listening to my fav. love songs while hugging my dearest teddy.
Well.Gotta turn in early tonight.
Helly FRIDAY and Holy SATURDAY!
Much things to say.
Something happened at school yesterday.My emotion bursted,and i cried.
My juniors from 10-A made my form teacher cried.I was in the office at that time,i couldn't stand that sight,and i...Yey.I was mad and i told them off right in front of them.Everyone was looking and kept asking why,i was damn furious that time.One of my juniors even yelled at me.I knew it,they're unhappy cos their form teacher was implicated because of our complaints.What the heck!
I was thinking whether it's an eye for an eye action?F*cking foolish!Taking revenge,huh!
Truthfully,i tried to control myself,but...It still bursted out.
I couldn't resist myself.
But...I ended up apologizing to them.Yeah.I was wrong to get mad.
I'm being a human.I have my own reasons for doing that.I'm being benevolent,that's what God tells me to.
Hahas.It was such a hard day.I hate crying,but i cried!*shit!
Anyway,everything has come to an end.Stop here.Case closed!
Forget all the unhappiness!
Went to eat a bowl of es gunung in the night,to calm down my mind.I WAS UNHAPPY!:'(
and today.It's Saturday,sweety!
So,i woke up at 04:00am this morning!I rang him up,cos we agreed to view the sunrise together.
But,i called about 10times and nobody answered.*can't help it.This lazy bum!
So i went back to sleep and around 5am,he texted me.So,in the end,we still went to Harbour Bay for the sunrise.
It's been a decade since i last woke up this early.The air was so fresh!I could have a peace of mind...*thanks buddy for granting my wish.
Then,went to Avava for breakfast.Haha.It had been such a long time since i last stepped into the market.
Went to BCS at around 3pm to meet Jane.We went for food and movie.We watched 'Orphan'.The movie was quite great,my heart kept beating faster watching the psycho who killed ruthlessly.I'll rate it 6/10.
Jane,dwiki and I was not too scared,except Tandrian.Goodness!She was freaked out by the movie.Jane's hand was hurt by Tandrian.Hahas!Poor you...
We met Nanda in the cinema.
I also saw Dickson there.Haha.That guy ever wooed me for around 8 months,*damn!He was damn annoying.But,i managed to escape still.*hahahah.
He was with his gf,and i know her.
Met yanto,he was with his gf,too.
We went downstairs.While dwiki was buying the bubble tea,a gang of bimbos was standing beside us,and one of them was gossiping about Jane and my attires.She kept looking at my shocks and jane's red stocking.*gosh!What an old-fashioned hag is she.She thought that we didn't understand what she was saying in English.*craps!I understood every single words,baby!
Some people are just a way too lacking of fashion's sense!
Ou yeah!The more you critisized us,the more you has made us proud!We're beauty and you're *****!
Btw,i saw a bag just now.It's made from materials like 'karung goni'.But it was beautifully modified.I was thinking whether i should buy it.It costs around $30.But,fret that my mum will nag me if i bought it.
That's all.i'm letting go.I won't trouble myself to hold something that's not mine.Happiness is what i seek.
Happy and Remorseful!
I'm blank right now.
I know that i've made the right step and there's no way back.
We've told Ms.Djuwita our problems.And this morning,some changes are made.
Bu.Ana will teach us Kimia again.
Ms.Lina will teach us Grammar like before.
But,some teachers are sacrificed.I don't have the courage to face them.I was so sorry to see them cry.
A deep remorse.
As if i'm a killer.
On the other side,i'm glad that better teachers are told to teach us again.Yes!Finally,i see a light of hope.
Others seem to go against us.They think that we're cruel,we don't care about the teachers' feelings.
But,please,you kids don't know anything.Stop shedding crocodile tears!
Don't talk behind our backs.Hate us?Up to you.Who gives the damn care!
Wanna be a hero?Face us!We'd made a long consideration before deciding to do that.And you kids,absolutely don't have any RIGHT to judge us!
Bimbos are spreading out stupid gossips.We all know that.It's up to you,but SHUT UP YOUR MOUTH BEFORE WE SHUT IT UP FOR YOU!
Control.No emotions.We're old enough to handle things calmly.Yes,we are...
Reformation has started,a bright future awaits us.
You kids will learn to know our goodwill in times. :)
physics and agama tests tomorrow.
That's all for today.Goodnight.
We finally made our move!
I feel a great relief today.
Finally,we managed to meet Teacher Djuwita and talked to her in person.
The prob was,we couldn't stand those teachers who can't teach us well.They appeared smart,when actually they are not.
Dwiki,Hanung,Justi,Rizki and I went to meet Ms.Asidah just now.We requested her to fix us an appointment to meet Ms.Djuwita*our school owner.
And Ms.Asidah did keep her promise and we got to meet Ms.Djuwita.
It was 4.30pm when she came to my class.The whole Senior 2 and 3 were already inside,and here we are...
Let's get serious.
I was appointed as one of the speakers and i started to point out our problems.Mainly is about the teachers who aren't competent.Then the others also complainted about the school's unreasonable regulations,like:
1.We have to go home at 5pm during the Mid-term test,so how can we study?
2.Students are not allowed to re-take the test if they missed it,except they are sick.
3.Only 10minutes-break are given for the additional class on Saturday.
So,the point is,THIS TIME WE'RE SERIOUS,cos we are running out of patience!
We put aside our feelings,and really fought hard for our RIGHTS!We even spelt out the teachers' names without considering whether they'll be fired or not.*cruel,huh!
So,the talk went on quite well as we talked under a clear state and NO EMOTIONS INSIDE!
I guess Dwiki should be given the most credits to this meeting with Ms.Djuwita,as he has been the one who's really consistent in this matter.
Ms.Djuwita is really a nice person to talk to.She didn't give much words to defend the school,but she seemed very eager to do something towards those problems.Ou yeah!That's what we need!
Went home at 5.30pm.
Gosh.The bus had left.So i went home with Rubby.Luckily,he drove his own car.*Thanks for sending me home:)"a beauty uses her brain,but a bimbo uses her boobs.a beauty has both brain and boobs,while a bimbo has boobs with no brain."
that's my Quote for the day!Hahahas!
if someone offers to be my angel,then i'll definitely say NO cos it means that he/she will leave me for good.Eventhough they'll still be protecting me,but....i won't get to see them anymore.
Lips of an angel!:x
I'm back to being SPORTY!
Everything goes on as usual.
Not that hard.But i made a mistake for not believing my own intuition and being affected by my classmates!*sigh.
So,our class was having another match with school.
Gosh.My friend,dwiki,wrote another long complaint and pasted it on the board.Fight for our RIGHT! How can we get good marks if we're not given enough times to study?8 to 5.No time for rest:(
spare a thought for us!
So,i'm loving times with them.
We have our own world.We don't care what the hell chaos are happening outside our class,we stay cool and share our own interests.Ahaa...So far so good.
Then,after 5 weeks of being a vegetable,finally i'm back to life!Hahaha.
Played badminton and soccer just now.
I was quite sweaty and i love this sporty me!:)
I'm feeling unsafe.
Yes.I am.I do.
Can i just put down my pride and scream out?
No.It's impossible.Pride means a heaven to me.
Perhaps i should just bite my tongue and persevere to the end.
Yes,that's what i should do.
I'm learning to enjoy this process.YES I AM!
The bitter this process gets,the sweeter the outcome will be:)
what's inside my mind now...
gonna make some changes on my attire.
i'm looking forward to it.
Seeking for times to refresh my mind.
Jesus.Thanks for everything today.
Monday!A new start,fellas!
Rawr!I'm back after being absent for 2 days!
*can't bear to leave this blog vacant for too long.
Yesterday was a lonely Sunday for me.I was alone for almost a day.
I lunched,shopped and dined alone.*pathetic me :'((
btw,i get addicted to shopping recently.
I bought a new bangle and an 'eyeliner' yesterday.
I mistook the eyebrow pencil for the eyeliner,so,it's such a waste!*am going to save for a new one!
Many things to buy.New bag,new shoes,eyeliner,woolen hat,calculator,dictionary
and of course,NEW CLOTHES!(since Christmas's coming in 2 months).Gotta set my eyes on those boutiques,and flip up more magazines to catch up with the latest fashions!*yey.I'm becoming more woman!
And and and...Am thinking of buying high-heels instead of flat shoes...Uhm.Is that a good idea,as i've never wore high heels before?But...Once i get into the shop,my eyes are on those high heels which look really appealing!
Saw a bag yesterday,it costs Rp.160.000!Whooaa...I got the money,but...am going to look for the best one.*can't be to thrifty.money.money.money
Went to BCS after i got back from the church.
Then went to Permata Baloi to eat the Es GununG!Yey.How i miss it so much!:)*thanks buddy for keeping your words and bring me there:)*
*forget to take the pics.
so.It's Monday.And...It's always started with teacher's preaching.*sick.
PKN TEST today!I could do the test quite well,praying for the best result.*grin:)!
Planning to lose weight,but...Still can't resist the foods temptations!
HELP!Gotta lose weight!School skirt's getting tighter!
Kimia test tomorrow!I haven't opened up the books yet.It has become a nightmare for me!:'s
Gotta study now.
Went to school holding a thick physic book in my hand.
I was very punctual today.I still had around 10mins to do my homework in the class.XD
English class was ok today.Heard a lot of thingy about college life from Ms.Revi.
Fisika class nearly made me out of breath.We were given 5 questions,and 1 of them was very difficult to solve.I spent hours on it.
B.Indonesia class...Needless to say,it's always so monotonous.
Agama class:felt so sleepy.
I took a short nap during the lunchtime.
Physic class was boring.The teacher only sat there and seemed clueless about what should she teach us.But,the Test will be on next FRIDAY!*gosh!
Swimming class:had planned to swim,but cancelled it.The water was dirty.Yucks!
Had mum-made bak kut teh for dinner.
(i was wondering how can i lost weight since my mum prepares delicacies for me everyday!)
went to cybercafe,did some editings on my blog.Can you notice the differences?
i was sent a sms last night and it's quite unique.
I was given a 'Tell-the-truth Ticket'.And it gave me a chance to ask 1 question to the sender of this ticket.*smile.
And the sender will answer it truthfully.
But i didn't reply,cos i didn't know what to ask.
If you were me,what will you ask?
If i give this Ticket to you,what will you ask me? .xoxo.
Night fellas!don't say FOREVER cos you'll never know what's going to happen next.Leave it to God,cos He knows the best!
Well,i didnt post last night,cos i was busy till 12pm.
Anyway,nothing was special yesterday.
Went to school as usual.
Audio visual:gotta shoot a political-film related with public press.
Mandarin:test!I hate mandarin test.Gosh..
Biologi:s*cks!We went to the bio-lab and examined many kinds of human muscle using that antique-microscope.
komputer:went to the computer-lab.Never-stop-visual basic!
Literature&english:had a lot of talks with Ms.Revi.
Kimia:computer lab again,searched for ???*blank.
School days are dull.Day after days,everything seems the same.
Gosh.I found that i've gained much fat.My school skirt doesn't fit me anymore!What should i do?Help!
Am still craving for Es Gunung!
Wish that it's Saturday soon,am going to have the es gunung!